confessions of a whore in berlin: Best of Craigslist Berlin and More

So back by popular demand....more best of ads and responses.

Unwashed Pussy II - w4m - 32 (Berlin)

Hey boys....

I have been marinating in my panties non stop for the last 24 hours. Any really dirty boys wanting to slather their face in my dirty, sweaty pussy?
This is a delicacy and is only ever offered when the warm weather affords it!

Any takers on sloppy seconds...I know there will be many offers....pick your place!!!

24 hour marinated pussy is not exactly my thing, but if you have a 24 or 48 hour marinated asshole that is definitely my thing.

If you have one, please let me hear more. I am 100% real, and genuine.

G.

could use my tongue on you tomorrow (noon-early afternoon)- if still smelly, schmutzig.......

How about a Pic of that nasty dirty fish cunt

Hi

I'm xxxx 35 and would love to pick my place and help you clean your panties.
I'm a nice person and not a weirdo

Would like to stick my face in your marinated pussy, hope i m not to late and stil be able to pick a slot ;)

Tell me where and when today ?

if you wash it i'll fuck it let me know

you, dirty and bacterial slut.

i like you.

im fine with secounds tho first would be best ;-)

Hey there....
 
I love licking a hot, wet, sweaty pussy... and fucking it too :)
 
Here's a couple pics. I'm 28, 189cm, thin, with blond hair and blue
eyes. Interested?

Post I responded to:

American needs some fun - m4w - 22 (My hotel room)

Looking for a female companion for the night to have fun with. Here on business and it gets quite boring at times. You wont be disappointed though im hung ; )

Me: Hey there fellow American!

Sorry to hear you are bored....that is no condition to be while here in this fantastic city :(
I know what you are looking for is NSA, but from your hotel room, this may prove difficult. So when you have not found the 1st choice taker.....consider giving me a try. I am very worth it!
http://berlin-escort-aimmeedudevant.blogspot.de/
Aimmee

Him: do you do anal?

Me: Copied and pasted whole page of list of services from link I had already sent him.

Him: any pics?

Me: If I sent you pics...would you like me to look at them for you? Seriously dude....I sent you a link to my profile. Even with less blood flow to your brain and one hand jerking yourself off, you should be capable of clicking your mouse and looking at pics and reading that I do in fact do anal. Stop being such a lazy fucker...really.

Seriously...good luck finding any woman..paid or not to deal with stupidity and laziness.

I only want your cock - w4m - 29 (kreuzberg)

I have absolutely no interest in the man behind the cock...I just want your shimmering pole.

I will gag you, ear plug you, place a brown paper bag over your head, and wrap you completely in plastic wrap exposing only your cock.
When I am done with you, I will send you away with the bag still on your head.

Please no speaking as your voice will ruin the moment....I will only fuck your cock like the worthless piece of meat it is.

Giselle the French Bitch

Hi Giselle - i saw your posting. Im 29 years old, good looking white guy. My cock is very worthless and I would like for you to use it however you like. If you are interested I can send you a picture. Hope to ehar from you.

Hi ,

I m offering my shimmering pole. 17.5 cm . Tell me where and when to come. Today ?

I was extremely turned on by your post as I wish nothing more than to
be used, degraded and objectified. I hesitate to write much more as I
know you don't want to hear anything I think, nor do you want to hear
me speak. If you want it, my hard cock is yours.

suck on this

but only available for tonight frenchy

hey French bitch,
if your after cock let me fill you up.
call me tonight if still hungry...

good looking latin guy.

you won't have to put a bag on my head but i was so turned on by your post that i had to write.

im in kreuburg to whith my home boy we st8 would like to meet up for a good time let me know.

hey there,

i like your little fantasy. feel free to put that brown bag over my head and abuse my piece of meat...

Salut Giselle,
 
I am so tired of watching football that I find your proposal very funny and

worth to try... I also live in Kreuzberg and want to have my cock sucked. Let

me know xx

Giselle, I have missed you.

When do you have time this week?

wow....sounds amazing and scaring at the same time :)

another idea...you can also have a brown paper over your head^^

Bend me over,
Use the switch,
then take cover,
and I will be your little bitch.

Plant my face
where you see fit
strangle my neck
and maybe I'll twitch

flip me
twist me
bend me
hurl me

spread my ass
in an acrobatic stance
after I have then made you completely nass
you MAY then have your chance

Responses:

Feel my power,

yield to me,

surrender your body,

and let yourself revel in the ecstasy.

It's my way

I'll take the reins

I see you there

in such sweet pain

Moan softly

scream loudly

look here

look there

These heavenly holes

they feel like home

then the most joyous epiphany comes to me

I no longer need to roam

Hey there unfortunately I'm not in Germany but I would love to see what you look like. I have a weird request but I hope I don't completely gross you out. I would love for you to take a picture of your poop in the toilet before you put toilet paper in there. I know its weird and nasty but it would really turn me on if you would send me that pic. Please reply even if you are not interested. I don't mean any disrespect if it sounds like that. Thank you very much for your time.

I wanna be known for my name
When you scream it out
As I thrust my hard dick into you
I wanna be known for my hands
The ones that make you tingle
The ones that have been granted permission
To touch your pussy
And make you feel safe under my arms
To smack that ass
And feel like I own you and I love you
To touch your tits
And make your mind tingle
I wanna be known for my emotions
The burning romance to be with you
The urge for us to be best friends
Best lovers
Best fuck buddies
For the undivided
Undying romance in a heated passion
I just want to be known for my mind
To think of your body and your mind
Hey,
 
Are you still looking? I've been looking for a sub to meet on a regular
basis here in Berlin and I liked your ad very much.
I'm 35, well educated, experienced and have certain preferences. I like verbal
domination, someone who can obey orders, and I'm a big fan of deep
throating and nipple play. I will of course also please you if i think
you deserve it.
 
One scenario would be you going down on your knees and start trying
to take my cock as deep down as you could. I'm usually very
encouraging as long as you are dedicated and try hard. Girls usually
have a problem taking all down the throat on their own at first. After
a while, unless you're really good, I take a firm grip of your hair
and start pushing you down. You would feel the cock slowly sliding
downy our throat. I love the sounds of gagging and saliva running out
of your mouth... That's for starters. We could take this much further
and there are of course many other things I like to do. What are your
likes and dislikes/limits?
i will fuck you
screw you
bang you
thump you
slam my cock down you throat
thrust my hand in your cunt
shove my balls in your eyes
and cum on your face

i will bind your hands
slap your ass
and ride you like a mare
rolling in the thunder

i will make you beg for my cock
on your knees
yearn for my cum

i will not penetrate you until you ask
"please fuck me like the dirty whore i am"

i will fuck you:
on a hard wood floor
your knees digging into the parket
over the table from behind, quick and dirty
against the wall

and then, we will really see
Your poem made me so hard. I want to do you. Can we make that happen? 
May one inquire as to what defines your predilections? How could I be
of aid in your search for ecstasy and climax?
Hi,
 
If you want to be fucked over and over again there would be some correlations  
in our leisure time schedules.I will tell you how to stand, how to lie, how to
spread your legs so I can lick you crazy and fuck you in all positions. I would   
take you from behind, pull you up, hold you tight with my big hands, bit your neck,  
massage your breast, kneed your clit, suck your ear, listen to your deep moan and  
feel your intense orgasm while I fuck you to the next climax. Harder and harder till 
I cum. After I would leave, your thighs may shiver from all the orgasm you had and  
you will probably want more. If you are really randy it could easily happen that I  
bite you from time to time, I am keenly, I love to fuck, to lick and pet in all  
possible ways.
 
Tell my about your desires and we maybe meet. I am 29, good looking, tall (190)  
and I know how to use my dick (18cm), tongue, fingers and mouth. 
 
hot kiss
Tell me when
or tell me where
all your wishes
i will make

deep and hard
long and fast
maybe anal
and vaginal

if you are luck
you will suck
when you want
we can fuck..

if you want more
answer back
pic by pic
write me fast...

Hallo, this sounds intriguing .... and exhilirating ! Fuck me first sounds far better

than having hours of scintilating conversations to quailfy for the fuck ... I would

rather qualify for the conversations subsequently .... I am 38 , non conformist ,

overly curious , freedom loving , sometimes sarcastic ,.... I know myself and my desires

quite well , I am reflected , nevertheless self ironical ... I like slightly rough , changeable ,

creative , dirty , wicked , decadent and kinky sex ...I also like to explore ....

I attach a picture to give you a visual impression , I am 175 cm ,good in shape .

CL Ad: Melt in the inferno of feminine symbiosis - w4w - 29 (Berlin)

It is spring and not only is the weather starting to warm, sun starting to shine, flowers starting to bloom, but an awakening deep inside is drawing closer to the surface.

I would love to wrap and unwrap myself around you.......over and over. Feel my breasts and nipples uncover erogenous zones you did not know existed. Exchange passionate secrets about our sex without saying a word...but only through pushing the limits of bodily reaction. I want to feel your breath on my skin and you the heat from my rapture. I long to make your trenches swell and open up before me and feel you twitch, squirm, and howl when you finally feel me deep inside.

If you like the sound of this, please respond with a pic and I will assuredly return the favor. Please keep in mind....an open mind and body is needed to attain this level and is not meant for the faint of heart. Write me a few lines and share with me your thoughts and desires.

A quote from my favorite writer.. Ms. George Sand "I am not full of virtues and noble qualities. I love. That is all. But I love strongly, exclusively and steadfastly. "

You will indeed find a very sexy, sensual, and real woman behind these lines and this post, but I will respect those who may still hold this into question.

I want to watch you kiss her

My Mr. Strange is a sensual man after all! This is the ad he placed for us on craigslist!

Me (m, 25) and my friend (f, 33) recently had the first encounter with another women and it was an elevating experience.

I would like to watch her kiss, fondle, bite, lick and touch another girl again who returns her the favors. I would like to watch two angels move in an animalic dance cherishing Eros.

You would be to define my role, although the least I ask for is that I am allowed to sit in the room and watch.

We will reply to emails together and look forward to your picture and fantasy.

Kisses

Response: Your experience before also sounds nice. Elevating is a very interesting way of describing an experience like this. Was it spiritual or what do you mean by this? Oh, and feel free to ask me just as many questions! Are you both German, Americans? What motivates you to have this experience and sharing her?

DIRTY ASS LICKING

Where to begin on this one....hhhmmmm....Mr. Hankey the X-mas pooh comes to mind or the lyrics to one of my favorite songs "Megacolon" from Fischerspooner. So here are the lyrics to prelude this new segment! You should check out the actual song though...its great!
Moaning and a heaving on a hot sticky can

I'm craving chocolate exlax and my g.e fan

I'm tagging on the wall how I got in this jam

M.s.g money margaritas and my man

Storing up my supper coffee and my snacks

The shits piling up kinda feels like a cramp

Instant relief is what I need to ease

The megacolon that's inside of me

Nightmares of my dinner at the china doll

Thinking bout my wardrove gonna get at the mall

T.v guide Cosmo I'm running out of mags

And I just smoked a pack of my Kool fags

Finger in my hole getting into the dig

There's cum stains in my panties and jizz in my wig

My man calls me Cherry

Think's I'm uptight

But I'm gonna blow him off cuz I'm Dyno-mite

I'm Sandra H. not Sandra D.

and my lady Y-vonne standing next to me

She said holy shit

I said yes that is it

Now our megacolon is a big big hit

Megacolon

Thinking bout my man it really makes me sick

The shit got soft creamy slick

It came out in a blast that was really foul

Forget the white clouds I need a bounty towel

I need a new life

I got to reform

I can't take my strife

In this thunderstorm

I got to be strong

I got to be brave

Don't wanna bear the title

This Toilet slave

I'm Sandra H. not Sandra Dee

With my lady Y-vonne standing next to me

We are fly white girls moving in New York City

Our rhymes aren't tough but our faces are pretty

We were hanging out in bars looking for a groom

When we met each other in the ladies room

She said holy shit

I said yes that is it

Now Megacolon is a big big hit

mega colon
First segment was a request for services....services I would never partake in. But someone I guess was bound to ask as some point. Here is the dialog of this persons fantasy....

Client: würde mir wahnsinnig gerne richtig groß mein maul von dir zuscheissen lassen. wäre ein traum (It would be awesome for you to take a proper shit in my mouth. Has been a dream!

Me: echt? Bitte erklaren! (Really? Please clarify)

Client: na ich lege mich unter deinen geilen arsch und du drückst richtig ab. (I will lay beneath you hot ass and you will push properly out)

Me: Was fuer hast du Vorliebe, was ich in der Nacht essen sollte, bevor ich das tun? (Do you have a preference for what I should eat the night before I do this?)

Client: was du willst, soll aber ein richtig großer haufen werden. hätte auch gerne mal einen richtigen dünnschiss, hatte ich noch nicht. (What you want, but it should be a lot. But I prefer it to be thin shits.)

Me: achso....wie viel wuerst du fuer diese Dienst verdienen? (So how much are you willing to pay for this service?)

Client: sag du es mir ( You tell me)

Me: 1000euro!

Client: würde ich machen wenn ich einen ganzen tag dein klo sein darf (I would do this if I could be your toilet all day)

Me: hast du ein foto? Ich wird darueber nachdenken. (Do you have a photo? I will think about it)

Client: dann muss ich noch ein foto einscannen, wenn du eins sehen willst. kann ich demnächst mal machen. wäre geil wenn ich einen tag dein klomaul sein dürfte (I must scan one, if you want to see me. I can do this in the next days. Would be really hot to be toilet mouth. )

Me: wir werden sehen nach mir dein foto schicken! (We will see after you send me a picture)

Now honestly....why? How is this sexy? How could someone want this? I am disgusted thinking about it and 1000euro really isn't even enough for defecating on someone, let alone for a full day. There is no way I could be intimate with this person and the shit is discoloring the sight of money very fast!!!

CLEAN MY ASS

The next segment is from Craigslist Berlin. My friend and I wanted to come up with something different. She and I were walking in -19C/ -2F snow ass freezing weather and out of no where she nonchalantly said, "I am out of toilet paper, want to lick my ass clean?" I almost pissed myself walking along the sidewalk. I knew if I had taken a bite or sip of something I would have spewed it all over the place. When we finally made it to our destination...should put the ad in....and yes...people replied!

Clean My Ass w4m

I am out of toilet paper, i need you to come and lick my ass clean.

Responses:

Sadly this one came with a face pic....he is lucky I am not in the US to know him when I see him.....BLAH

Hey there unfortunately I'm not in Germany but I would love to see what you look like. I have a weird request but I hope I don't completely gross you out. I would love for you to take a picture of your poop in the toilet before you put toilet paper in there. I know its weird and nasty but it would really turn me on if you would send me that pic. Please reply even if you are not interested. I don't mean any disrespect if it sounds like that. Thank you very much for your time.

Hi !

If you are serious, you could very well have found your ass cleaner !

Cool I bought some extra toilet paper and couldn't get rid of it !

Hello you,
don't worry you won't need toilet paper, if you have me over for cleaning. Also, as you probably know, a tongue has some advantages, it is softer, warmer and wetter, your ass will thank you for that. I'll be happy to help you with my long and strong tongue, which is ready to eagerly clean your ass after you went to the toilet. Where do I need to come? Now?
Kiss,
(27, great tongue, great in shape, sweet and self-ironic)

I am 27, 180cm, 92kg and ready to lick your ass clean.

I realy would love to.

I can't tell more about me, because I am kind of prominent, so I would realy like to haere from you how we meet and get things started.

Best

shit...me too...69 licking?

I've never done this before, but it has been my fantasy for several years. Please let me clean your ass, tell me to lick the shit out of your hole. I am young, probably attractive and absolutely willing to finally do it.
best

would be interested.... with a cock shot inserted! It is already in the gallery of introductions!

Hi there,

I am a 40 y/o male, not ugly, and would like to help you out.

I am for you. Nothnig like more than lick your ass. I am late writting you but when you have time me too.

Hi

I would love to clean it ...

where are you

Are you still looking? Let me know. i live in Prenzlauer Berg.

Hi,

I'm a young french guy leaving in Berlin.
I'm 28, 175cm, 77kg Handesome and sub.
I would love to serve you as toilet paper If you want. And leack your ass clean. I love beeing used that way.

Bisous

Would love to lick it clean!

TELL ME YOUR FANTASY......unglaublich!

Hi,

I am xxxxxxxxx, 27m and living in Berlin.
I have a fantasy to enjoy, which I would like to ask you.

I had an American friend and she used to enjoy drinking my Pee.
I like this fantasy.

She went to US last week, and I love to meet another girl who can drink my Pee, swallow my cum happily.
Are you the one, interested to fulfill my fantasy?

what's your hourly rate, if you charge for this.
If you are interested to meet me, please mail me your phone number.

I will contact you, then we can fix our plan.
Waiting for your reply.

Me: You want me to drink your piss....2.000 euro 5.000 euro for me to pretend to enjoy it!

SAUDI SHEIK IN BERLIN

It is starting to get boring in my 12 room villa in Grunewald, so i need to have a German Harem. I want to see if German ass and tits are as good as German cars.

You must have a big round ass, good in bed, not older than 28, and hot in bed. In exchange you will live in palace and i'll spoil you with nice jewelry.

If you are bisexual, blond and good at belly dancing it is even better.

Responses:

I am xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, 31 years old,i am divorced and searching for a
good man to start a life together,I am honest,loyal and open minded,i
enjoy camping, walking hand in hand with my lover,touching, being
touched, gazing into your eyes, going to movies and spending quality
time with my lover..

My name is xxxxxxxx. I am half German and half Tanzanian. Im female 27 years old. Did you get a nice reply from a lady in Berlin yet? I will be coming to Berlin to work soon and would like to meet you...

Im in London at the moment..

WOW this next response really makes me embarrassed to be an American.... Not sure on what level of embarrassment I should be on...ignorance 10%, the use of N word 25%, the fact that she/he had to say they were American, 2x 20%, or the fact that this stupid ignorant American can't use simple and proper English sentence structure nor spell the word camel, which is a very commonly seen word in the US....45%

Go fuck a cammel you god damned sand nigger.

I am a American I fuck you up in America.

<><> <><> <><>

Now is this the sand "N", the camel "toe" that needs to be fucked, or the American? Nope...just plain jane MOOSEKNUCKLE!

Hello mister,

I read your ad on craisgslist and I found it very interesting. How has your experience been so far? Has it come up to your expectations and could it meet the favorable standards of German cars?

I am German, 34 years old, 173 cm high, brunette and I have blue eyes, long legs and a big, round bum. I am a teacher of English, French and German and I can communicate in several languages. I spent some time in Morocco, teaching German at the university of Fes. That was a lovely experience for me and I have been very interested in Arab culture ever since.

I am not so prudish either. I have had threesomes before (2girls, 1 man) and I enjoyed them. I also took belly dancing lessons for a while here in Kreuzberg with a Turkish dancer.

What are you doing here in Berlin? Do you mix a lot with the locals? Do you have special interests like sports, movies, art, theatre plays etc.? If you like we could meet at a neutral place for a coffee and a chat and then see if we want to get up to other things in the future.

My e-mail is XXXXXXXXXX

It would be nice to get an email from you!

Yours XXXXXXX!