Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sometimes, the root of your desire goes well beyond your trunk

In the last year and a half I have studied the sexual nature of myself and men from all over the world. I have exposed and experienced idiocy, extreme perversions, tenderness, longing, success and downfalls. The most interesting thing I have come across is the hidden desire for something real through the force of online anonymity. I have trolled sex ads, placed sex ads, sold my sex, my body and essence and shared all for the world to see and experience through word or in the flesh. What I discovered through all the myriad facades is:

The majority of men have perverse ideas in their heads. Ideas spoon fed from pornography: how many places can I stick my cock, how can I tear that up, the submission of a woman tending to his piece, him performing an act that appears to be turning her on or getting her off or even going to an extreme of turning something completely disgusting into a complete raw form of enjoyment. In other words, the ecstasy of completely letting go to every and all inhibitions.

Men also have a romanticized drive of what sex should be for them. They have a desire for physical contact, touching, being touched, being pleased equally to pleasing. The disconnection or connection they have falters in the communication and expression of desire and imagination of desire.

Online anonymity provides a platform to express ones self in this pornographic alter ego and play in the realm of fantasy. But really this alter ego is merely a manifestation of something, I think even most men do not realize and that is this romanticized desire that links them closer to a woman. I know you probably think I am full of shit, but working as a whore and meeting many, many, many men in the "anonymous" realm of fantasy, the outcome or reality supports my argument.

85% of the men that seek me out and book me are married or in a relationship
10% of the men are successful and attractive men, who just have no time for seeking or sustaining a relationship
5% are just insecure or really the stereotypical guys who could not get a woman if they tried

The factor they all have in common: they all seek companionship, closeness and to fulfill desire for something they do not have.

The men who are married seek most of all: tenderness, attention, the feeling of being desired and of course excitement! Obviously the things that are lacking in their everyday relationships. Sure, they may approach me with some crazy pornographic idea of what they would like to do, but ultimately, they wanted to be ABLE to express this type of desire without judgment or immediate denial. Once meeting in the flesh, their comfortability and feeling of freedom, because of the openness, their true desire and essence is exposed.  Many of course do not do the things they say they think they want to do, rather they take their time and enjoy the open company and fall prey to the moment and the natural forces of two souls coming together.

The single, successful and attractive men with no time, know exactly what they want and waste no time expressing it and doing it. They are not bogged down by the emotion of dissatisfaction of a relationship. They do not pretend for a moment and take advantage of this fantasy world alongside the give and take. They value their time and investment and make the most of it. Their fantasy and realistic desire to be touched and to touch, to give and receive collide and usually with a sonic boom.

The 5% of insecure or stereotypical men are really broken into two groups. Wanting the connection and the "know how" and those that are completely perverse and have no desire for anything other than their pornographic manifestations.

The insecure use the anonymity as a shield to protect them from embarrassment. Many express themselves opposite to who they really are to help build themselves up or keep it as real as possible and with only a few embellishments for fear of "me" meeting them in the flesh and feeling incompetent. These men really seek the chance to make a woman feel like a goddess, since in their real lives, they have no one. They want to know what it is like to be touched and to touch and make a woman happy and usually have little regard for self gratification.

On the other side of the the extreme perverse. They have no ability to communicate or express themselves outside this pornographic fantasy land. The anonymity allows them to be "the supernatural porn star" they could never be in real life. Of course, some whores will cater to this persona for an easy buck and it is a shame to see this behavior perpetuated. Especially when there are very good techniques some of us have to reveal and play on these desires in other ways.  For these men, the goal is to remove any and all emotion from the equation and test the limits of physical gratification and pay no attention to why they would want to do the things they do.


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