Sunday, January 22, 2012

Worst date...EVER in the history of mankind!

I will start this section of my blog with something that recently happened to tie everythign all together. I recently posted an ad on CL Berlin asking for a guy to take me to the Tiger Lillies Freakshow playing at the Wintergarten Theater until Feb 5th. The ad was titled, Take me to a show?

I am looking for a nice, fun, down to earth handsome man to treat me to a show.
I would really like to see the Tiger Lillies Freakshow, but to be honest, I do not have enough extra money to buy a ticket nor someone to go with if I did. So I thought I would post here and see if someone would be interested in treating me to the show and see where it goes after.
I don't want someone to treat me just because of the we will see after part...I want someone who genuinely would like to go and see the Tiger Lillies.
I am a very attractive and funny girl and am very good company regardless.
Please send a response with a little bit about you and a photo and label it "tiger lillies" so it doesn't go into spam folder and I will get back to you.

Of course I had my usual cock pics sent and total disregard for the actual intention responses....I have a big cock wanna go with me crap. But I had a very interesting answer today.

Hey, im actually working for them next year...but here is the deal, I 
want to go see the show and I actually didn't because I refuse to go  
alone. But really, why would you discredit your gender and ask for a  
guy to pay...? If you want to see them, fine lets see them but you  
really should pay your way. Then you can be assured that nothing will  
happen that you don't want. Real women died to be free, please dont  
forget that.
I honestly could not believe this guy would even think I would want to see the Tiger Lillies with him after this mail. Funny thing is, for those who have known me or have acquired my services, you know that my biggest issue with women and sex or sex in general (not just the act but gender as well), the issue is the lack of communication skills  we have. You only get bad sex when you do not communicate what you want.Same thing with dating or service or anything,  when you don't communicate what you want you don't get it. (punkt) Regardless of that tangent, I was flabbergasted that this guy have the nerve to bring in the (female sex) card on this. Here was my reply...
I am very sorry you find it a discredit to my gender because I ask for a guy to pay for my ticket and go together. And yes as a free woman I have the right to ask if that is what I want...the question that should be asked is why should I have to ask. It is sad to think that a man sees an obligation for anything more because he does pay. I am being open and honest...I do not have enough money to buy my own ticket and I would really like to go. If I find a guy who is willing to invite me and before meeting him I m interested in more...then I am leaving that is all my discretion before I decide to reply. If I do not find the right guy for the response, nothing is lost. Have a nice night.
Unbelievable!! Really I wanted to write him about my last experience on going out on a "real" date. But honestly, pfff it would mean more to you my readers than him. It all comes around at some point....

The Worst Date EVER in mankind...well at least in my 35 years of existence and months of living as a whore!

A few weeks ago I had placed a sincere ad looking for a Romantic Pervert.
Seriously.....I am looking for a lovely man who is charming, respectful, financially secure (stable) who would like to have a long term, uncomplicated, drama free relationship with a woman who is comfortable with herself, secure, knows what she wants, has a fantastic sense of humor, happy with the little things, sexy, has great curves and has great sex, playful, intelligent, and has many interests.

I love a man who can enjoy films (of all genres), can discuss them, enjoys going out and having fun, dancing (electronic music), concerts (rock and classical), restaurants, likes to travel, who is creative, down to earth, realistic, idealistic, educated, spontaneous, great sense of humor, adventurous, likes to cook and eat (spicy and garlic) now put all these great qualities into a young (24-30), fit, white German man who enjoys regular, energetic, open minded, spontaneous, sometimes rigorous, and completely mind blowing sex! Now if that isn't the longest sentence, I don't know what is :)

Come on... I really do not ask too much now! I know you have to exist. Serious replies only. If you respond with a dick pic, without a genuine response, and will not get a response from me.

So let's see where this shall take us...yah?

It does get lonely sometimes having a wall round your heart, living a life of a whore, and even though I enjoy what I do, it does take its toll on can really drain me. Sometimes I just put on a facade for these men, although that facade does truly exist within is sometimes very deep inside, not showing its face to the world or to me most of the time. So yes, it does drain me. Sometimes I think, it would be really nice to have some kind of romantic but not overly serious connection with someone form time to time. So that is why I put this ad out.

The response I received was from a decent looking Dutchman (at least his pics were nice) and I liked it. We started a very good dialog about movies and philosophy and he was so far very stimulating and charming. One thing I noticed in the background of his pic, was the meticulousness of his DVD and book collection. This really should have been red flag number one, but I brushed it off as someone who really liked his movies. So, after some correspondences back and forth, he asked me out on a date to a French restaurant close to where I would be coming directly from a client. heehee! I texted him and said, that I would be glad to meet him at this restaurant,   but that I was not a fan of French anything. He responded like a gentleman and said, "I want you to enjoy everything, so meet me at the Strandbad." That night my client never confirmed our meet, so I decided to go on my date early. It was horrible weather, raining freezing rain and windy as all hell. I looked at the maps and thought I knew where I was going. But I was wrong. I got completely lost. I stopped in another restaurant to get out of the weather and texted him. 5 minutes and still no response. I kept waiting until he finally called me asking where I was. He had no clue about the corner I was at and said, "I would come out looking for you, but then I would get wet and lost too!" Turns out, that if I had walked one more street forward, I would  have been there. REALLY?  Red Flag number 2, I would get wet and lost..shit...what is that?

So I look inside the restaurant for a guy sitting by himself and was confused, because I saw no one by himself, nor that looked like him. I started to walk around, making sure I was at the right place and I was. So, I went in and my glasses fogged up, so I had to take them off and search blindly for him. I finally see a guy, not really looking like him sitting alone. I approach the table, put on my glasses and was immediately turned off! Red Flag 3! I did not want to be rude and walk out, so I removed my coats and said hello and sat down. It was him, but he looked different. I think it was his shoulders that turned me off and the proportion of his head to his body...something was just off. Who knows, maybe me..just irritated? So, we started to talk and he asked if I would like a drink? I asked for a glass of wine. After about 15 minutes he asked if we could order, because he needs to eat at a  certain time every day to keep from feeling sick. Sure I said, but I was not hungry really, so I just ordered some nachos to graze on. As we wait for the food, he tells me all about the places he has visited based on location for good running. I thought Jesus Christ really? you go visiting places for vacation based on best jogging locations? I go for...hmmmm culture, food, nightlife, nature, multiple activities, etc. But he goes for jogging? Get me out of here is all I could think.

Thank God the food arrived and I can entertain myself by playing with some gooey cheese for some time. Maybe I should just do all the talking so I do not have to listen to a word he says. But then he started eating. Oh my fuckness.....I had no idea the jogging Dutchman was only a facade to the redneck lumberjack. See...the beautiful thing about European style eating is the gracefulness of how they eat, like they are conductors of an orchestra or like they are playing a Cello...just beautiful! But not him...he used his utensils like he was ready for a boxing match, both hands clenched ready for double fisting. He completely slaughtered the ravioli  that lay helpless on his plate as if it were going to run away. I was absolutely disgusted and distracted from what I was talking about. Red Flag 4

Then he said, "if you want something different to eat, I could go somewhere else after here." I suddenly felt the vomit begin to rise in my throat. The next place I go, will be to the subway station...alone. So I continue to talk because my own company was quite entertaining to myself, just as his slaughtered ravioli was to him. Seemed perfect at the moment. Then he orders another glass of wine for us. We keep talking and then he orders another round. I told him that I was not feeling well and that I thought I was catching a cold. But that was serious and not a joke! He reaches across the table and starts rubbing my arm and then leans forward to touch more on my back. he starts to clear off the items from the table and scootches up further towards me and asks to kiss me. But before I could say anything his lips were enveloped by his lips. I thought for Christ sake...since when did it mean kiss me when a woman says she is feeling sick? I moved back to signal to stop and I thought because he did stop, he caught the hint. But no....he looks at me and says, "I have been wanting to do that for the last 30 min." At this point we had been there for 2 hours. So, um really only 30 minutes ago you felt the passion inside to want to kiss me, I thought. He then asked me to sit next to him. Thank God my friend texted me and could give me an excuse to not pay attention to him as I sat down next to him with my body turned away from him. I thought surely, he would recognize this body language.....or not as he started to kiss my neck and tell me how goo I smell and then go in for another kiss on the lips.

All I could think about was, what could I do to make him lose interest in me? What can I do? I was texting my friend all the while and he suggested that I say my pimp was looking for me, or just fart! I decided I needed a cigarette and confessed to him that I needed one and that I left my pack at home because I knew he hated smoke. He thought instead it was really cute and went for another kiss. I backed away this time and finally he asked, "does this make you uncomfortable?" I said, "yes, this is too fast for me, I do not kiss on the first date." He apologized and suggested we sit on the couch and talk. I really just wanted to go home...I really was not feeling good. But I humored him though. We sat on the couches and he started rubbing my back....ewe make my skin crawl...blah! I had to think quick...what do I do to make him lose interest quick?!!! I took the last gulp of my wine and started talking about my ex and pretended to get upset. He quickly stopped touching me, and his posture suddenly became very unrelaxed. I told him I needed a cigarette and that I need to start heading home because the train would stop running soon. He agreed!!! Thank fucking Jesus. So we walked up to the front to pay the tab when I remembered there was a ciggy machine in the toilet. I decided to just walk back and get me a pack. The damn machine wasn't working...I tried every brand and nothing. I was about to rip the damn thing off the wall. With no luck in getting my much needed fix after all this trauma...I decided to just return to the lumberjack and say goodbye.

When I walked to the front...he was gone! Holy he really gone? I don't have to deal with him anymore? Suddenly, I did not need a cigarette at all! I put on my headphones and proceeded to walk out and down the street. I was texting my friend when I looked up and saw him returning to the restaurant on his bike. I thought shit...does he really think he has a chance? He came over and I said, hey there you are with a forced smile! He said, "yes here I am. I was wondering what happened to you? I said, "oh? I just went to the toilet and to try and get ciggy's from the machine and it wasn't working " He said, this is embarrassing, but I thought you were trying to get out of paying your share."  My jaw hit the fucking ground and the rage was no longer laying dormant. I said, "excuse me...really? You think I should pay for my share? You asked me out on this date. You continued to order drink after drink for us re you fucking serious?" He said, " well yah. It was really only our first date. I probably should have been more clear about it, but yes where I come from we usually split the bill on the first date." I said, "aha...hence the term DUTCH! Well where I come from, when am man asks a girl out on a date and chooses restaurant..he pays." He said, "I am sorry". I pulled out my wallet and said, "you seriously want the money? Do you have change for 20?" I stuffed it into his hands and put the change into my wallet, when that little fucker went in for another kiss!!!! WTF I told him to get his shitty hands off of me and is sad that you make the woman pay for anything once you realize you will not be getting laid...fuck off!

Thankfully...I never heard from Jasper again!


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