Something completely random..

 Yesterday I received several email responses from a man on Craigslist Berlin, who seemed very angry and irritated at me and the world. In fact, he responded to the Best Of Craigslist Responses, "Clean my Ass" and in my blog I called him a cooz. Rightly so at the time given the messages he had sent. But within some time, I emailed him basically asking what his problem is? I want to say, I am thinking he is not so bad after all and wanted to share little of this dialog with you, not just because I want to apologize for calling him a cooz, but to give some additional insight as to who I am as well. 

Mile High Club

This was written in response to "Mile High Applicant" 

 no you dont.

You dont want sex in a plane, because you dont want sex on the ground - or anywhere - you dont want sex and  you havent even got the confidence to be that intimate with anyone - how do we all know? You have told us just by posting any ad on craigs (tragic) list -
this thereby is an admission that you are unable to form relationships in person - an admission you are ill confident or ugly - or fancy that you are much more attractive and confident than you actually are so you appear ridiculous -
I would love to hear your honest answer to this - but we wont shall we - because you dare not reply to anyone at all let alone an attractive model who can meet men and women in any bar or shop on any day and get their card.
You clearly cant do this as you drag the depths of craigslist looking for sad men to reject - once you pretend you are serious about meeting.
You fail to convince you are a) even a woman b)heterosexual

as your ad doesnt reflect a person who understands female heterosexuality at all

am sure you shall show what a confident person you are by explaining this, perhaps also explaining, without showing, that you are a model, not doubt, who turns down stunning men every day

We have some serious anger issue don't we? Why are you cruising CL ads if you are so beautiful and can walk into any bar and get anyone's card? It is quite unfortunate that everything mentioned here in this lengthy email is all but true. However, it was in another response...you pegged me on the dot!

I am sure you are an interesting person...it shows in your very well thought out writing of free flow thoughts. If you would like to better know me...very female, very knowledgeable about female sexuality...it would be nice to start off on another foot!

We shall see indeed!

Best Regards

Sorry - you are going to have to explain more please!!

Am still not sure which you are (ah the plane person) you must be good if you can see through my stupid lack of control that I replied to anyone - you are right!

Anger issues? Yes probably right - even though it was an exercise in trying to write a reply to catch out liars that shouldn't have been sent at risk of it going to a "real person" -  but mostly moral anger that has got misplaced - if I wasn't sure people on free ads were mostly playing psychology chess - I wouldn't ever look or respond - and if they turned out to be genuine I would be sorry (which is why I don't look at these things generally)

I didn't use the word beautiful surely? I hope you didn't seriously get any hopes up?
I better check the other thing - does this mean it is too late to respond with a different email with the perfect response, only am sure even a real person, man or lady - prefers the [even role playing] debate like this? Tragic or not ??

After all if you are serious - that would beg the question - why would you post such an ad when you can get what you want else where - perhaps the answer is in the other email??

I would love to answer your questions...but I am not quite sure what the questions are? About me...I am a real woman. I find myself attractive...perfect...no...but I am full of great personality, a big heart, (that gets trampled more than not), and who has decided to play the game of sex, relationships, and curiosities more realistically. That is why I became a self made whore. To me, this is honest. The amount of times a day a woman gives herself away freely to undeserving men and gets no remuneration in pleasure or money is to me..a disservice and dishonest. I am realistic and hold no expectation, thus I am in control and am able to enjoy my activities objectively and freely.

I do not hate men, indeed the opposite. I may speak coarsely and with criticism, but only out of understanding and accepting men for who and what they are. I play on the realities and possibilities to gain further knowledge of this interesting species. When I know the rules of the game and the persona of the individual, I am able to offer myself this way to them and be open to creating an enlightening environment into my own soul, albeit, temporary.

I am in a crossroads in my life, where I made a decision based on acceptance of will and what is. Destiny if you will.....my heart has always been one of a romantic and hopeful for the settled perfect life. But my hunger for excitement, exploration, adventure...led me down a different path. I find these things stated above in a whole, through different partners, while making a living doing it. I am generally ok, because I have abandoned this idea of true love, my knight in shining armor rescuing me....I prefer reality and embracing it for what it is.

The sex on a plane...I have a vast account of various sexual exploits and from time to time I come up with something new that I want to try...for excitement, adventure, and eroticism. In my experience, one can only ever get, what one asks for. So asked for the experience of fucking on a plane. Last month was to meet a stranger in a park and blow them for money. Does this make me dirty or cheap? Maybe to some, maybe to me, but it is about learning ones self.

Why I place ads on CL. It was the first place I went to seek out free lovers. It actually consumed my time more than it should have. Plus I like to write and my ideas and thoughts became a social experiment. I wanted to see if what I was offering so long for free, someone would pay for?! Low and behold...they would. I liked my method of posting interesting ads, luring men in for great sex, and learning how to sell myself. After all, in real life, I am in marketing, but my biggest problem to conquer int he world of marketing, was marketing myself. So yet another social project or understanding myself. Anyway, I digress. I started placing several different ads, some real, older woman seeking younger guy, for example and then what I call dummy ads, threesome with a goat. I wanted to not only see what other peoples strange ideas of sex were about, but also see who was responding to my real ads, people seriously looking for something normal, and compare the responses to the ones a bit off kilter. This would serve to protect me from weirdos.

I liked selling myself through CL, because it gave me a chance to learn about the people I might engage with, rather than it just be me, a warm wet hole, so to speak. Those are not the encounters I wanted to sell. But then some man threatened me and my life and started bashing me there and it has broken my method of finding yes, the lonely and open minded men who would be willing to pay for a good sexual encounter. Men that are not necessarily unattractive, have nice personalities, and desire something more. Mostly, I place these ads in hope of finding interesting, passionate, and somewhat open minded men for a momentary encounter of bliss. We both get something out of it and move on. I also get a kick out of some of the responses that I get and these...these responses and experiences I have gained through doing this...has inspired me more than anything in this world to find myself, learn myself, and be productive in my endeavors. This is something I never had before and I hold it (myself) closer to me than anything.

I have gained many fans, many acquaintances, lovers, clients, success and connections by doing what I do...and in a very short time.

i hope this has answered something for you. If you would ever like to talk....free and freely with me, I am easily accessible. I am very real and want to be nothing less than. I am on skype at aimmee.dudevant or you can link right to me on my blog page by clicking "call me".