I promised to be a whore and found myself!

Sorry I have been away for some time. I have been sucked into the vortex  of a very strange place, a strange mood, and strange reality. I have been sucked into the depths of an alternate universe from which I have created for myself. This place was territory known all too well to me, all the while, it has been uncomfortable and liberating all the same. I reached deep into my soul to retrieve something I had lost........myself. It has been months since I looked in the mirror and saw who I was, am, and who I will be....I had forgotten to do this and it came at a cost. I paid the piper and in return I was set free. This feeling can only be best described by my favorite author, Georg Sand or Baroness Dudevant

"A day will come when everything in my life will change, I shall do good to others, when someone will love me, when I shall give my whole heart to the man who gives me his, meanwhile you will suffer in silence and keep my love as a reward...for him who shall set me free."

My life has been a constant moment of change, recently in my profession...I do good to others, some love me...but I shall not see it....I do not want to see it and I cannot see it. I give myself to others as a vessel of good will, good companionship, therapy, and evenings of bliss, rapture, and the feeling of love and desire. I give myself without replenishing my senses, my needs, and my desires...until I forget.Where I sought this replenishment, I was only drained more. I give my whole heart to the man who gives me his, but my heart is merely a beating apparatus, that pumps life through only logical rhythms. My love and my heart are separate entities that make a whole, which is my soul. There are many that keep my heart safe, while reaping reward. Pieces are kept in a box for further and later admirations. My love is given to those who least deserve it, yet nonetheless need it the most. This makes for only a beautiful hollow shell...so my question is, do I need to be set free or contained?

I recently was offered a beautiful opportunity by a gentleman to fly to Nice, France for 2 days of being shown how beautiful I was...in mind, body, and spirit. He wanted to show me that there is still gentleman like love, desire, and admiration to be had. In this endeavor to which I agreed, we both found more than what we had set out to discover. He was a romantic man, sweet, gentle, kind, and giving...he was also quite sophisticated in his complexity and this drew out the best and worst in me. This may sound wretched, but it was me as a whole and not just a hole, that he was able to encounter. I believe it stimulated him in a way he had not experienced in a lifetime. Likewise, he pulled out every emotion I had...he was for me as I was for him....a moment of impact.

Thank you for your kindness during these two days together. I was indeed really pleased to spoil you (I do not usually do that to someone I do not know... but I did it and it was a pleasure). I hope this has pleased you as much as it has helped me. I understand more what you meant while re-reading your blog on "the moment of impact". You made one for me. Not even with an unforgettable moment of sex... but only with an exchange with a witty person (you). I also hope it helped you in your reconstruction process, if any help was further required.

Take good care of you, and look only for the top. Like you.

You are a nice person and I enjoyed you very much, especially your complexity… I have found ever more complicated than me.

To conclude, I thought I would meet a whore (don’t take it badly, I am a whore too every day), but I met a doc and a friend. Cool.

Thank you for the wonderful experience and allowing me to get to know you too! I saw a lot of my own complexity in you as well. I think for both of us, it was a moment of impact for sure...just what neither of us was anticipating. But this is very rich and good. I know what you mean by thinking you would meet a whore and finding a doc and friend instead....this is especially good for you...as many do not get to see this layer to my being... I do know you had hoped for something else...but as the Rolling Stones say...you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need! This can bring mixed feelings, but it also brings you closer to self and this is what the reward is to those who open themselves to it.

You gave me a wonderful birthday and showed me how worth it I am...I think as much as I put a number value on myself and my services, I never realized how special I really am. In my current state and relation and connection to another...I forgot that and as much as I tried to make him see it in me....how could he, when all this time I couldn't REALLY see it in myself. It is painful yet freeing and in the next weeks I am sure the freeing nature of the whole thing will reveal a new self. Thank you for showing me that there are still gentlemen in this world, that there is still romance to be had, and that I can be appreciated for me and that I should never settle for less! I know better what I want and need in this world thanks to you! You are a good man!

My experience with you did not bring me any mixed to feelings at all. Only something I did not expect, but this thing is eventually a lot better than what I could have expected before knowing you. How many chances were there that we meet together during 2 days and thus have the opportunity to live together, and at the same time, a moment of impact. One out of a million ? There are already 130 million inhabitants in France and Germany together. As you do not like math, let’s keep simple things simple: there were basically no chance that we met. But we did. I do not believe in God as such, but as Albert Einstein said (he did not believe in God too) : “God does not play dice”. Meaning: there is an order in this world, and even if we cannot understand it, things do not happen by chance or by mistake.

I am really pleased that you took so much from our meeting. Your compliments are more than I deserve, and you are responsible also for a large part of the result. I did not hope for so much, but it fills me with joy and pleasure. Never let anyone settle you for less than you are! Life is worth being lived, and this is what we learn every day. I wish you only the best for the future. You are a beautiful and wonderful person, and you should never lessen you in anyway. If one day you need help and I can help you, please do not hesitate to ask. I do not want to promise you anything, because a promise is only a commitment for the one who receives the promise, and not for the one who promises. At least, I will do my best! You are a fantastic lady, and you have counted in my life!

What I gained from my experience with my admirer...was myself. Being shown around the south of France by a wonderful man, was one of the most trying moments I have had to overcome for myself in a long time. Being receptive to kindness without thinking of the persons alterior motives has been quite an obstacle for one. I realize that we all are directed by self interest, but the level in crassness has been the overture of many findings and resolutions. My other fault was lying in my very foundation and created a crack in my facade. The need to feel something or better, the need to allow myself to feel something...this is good in personal life, however feudal in my profession.

My admirer was everything a woman could desire in a man...if only she sought for romance. Or if she sought it specifically from him in particular. Perfect! He was a lover through and through. This facade and foundation in him was spectacular, but all the while needed to be wielded and molded to reflect the passionate animal that resided inside him. Although he did not know it at the time of our encounter, he was unbalanced and also did not know why...I was the same.

Every chance he had to pay me the compliment of cherished beauty, tracing the outline of my face gently with his fingers as I slept, or kiss my lips...it hurt me. My heart would break even more. It was not so much that I did not feel I deserved such admiration or that I was not worth every bit of what he gave me,no, it was the opposite. My heart and love had been miles away, being held captive by my dear Mr. Strange...he was suffering in silence as he always had been. Keeping my love as reward because he held not the capacity to reveal his true feelings for me...knowing he never would, I made a decision....

To my admirer, you set me free. Because of the pain your kindness brought me...Ich konnte vor dem Spiegel stehen und wurde mich selbst gesehen!

Further Update!

Hi Aimmee,

I am great, thank you. I feel a lot more balanced every day… so I also think of you every day!

I work a lot, but with a lot more balance (and a walk after lunch!).

My animal side has grown with this new balance. I have tried it with my wife, and it was quite fun.

I am really pleased that you feel so good. I have read it in your blog and I was quite pleased.

No wonder your marketing strategies do work well. You are good at what you do, and this is just another example of it.

Thank you so much for being yourself. Just keep it always like that, and take good care of you.

OMG...I am so happy to hear that you tried that with your wife and had fun......that is the best news!! Of course with you being balanced :) This is what makes me so happy with what I do! Really! I hope you keep it up and have more fun adventures together!
Aimmee

 

Cock tribute!

In my profession as a whore, I am always interacting with men looking for sex. But is this an oxymoron is it not? I write several ads catering to different levels of intelligences, desires, and persuasions, but I am constantly getting the same response. Someone actually asked me once in response, "is what you are looking for so hard to find?". YES! Just an FYI to my fellow horny fuckers....we already know you are sexually driven beings and there is no doubt that you worship your cock, that you like to fuck, that you can fuck for hours, and that you are interested when we show you attention. But I think it would be most behooving if you at least tried to be amiable (even if it is false) and try not to be a walking hard-on with nothing else to offer. You may be surprised what you learn about yourself and your character as a human when you set aside the obvious...that you are indeed a dick! I am just saying that choosing better presentation of that cock may prove fruitful! dress up that cock to leave it to the imagination and let the woman worship that beautiful cock on her own terms.

This behavior has no meaning in my professional world. Men pay me to speak to me in seductive and dirty Sprache....and here it is appropriate. I just find it mind boggling that men feel that they can talk to every woman in such a way. I think I will just take some time on my soapbox here....

Hey Lady,

saw your add and said to myself... 'Hey that would be a could end for a weekend'!!! So, lets meet up, and get down and dirty!

About me: 26y/o, 180cm, 85kg, muscular, Tattoos, brownish curls, glasses , nice and yum cock, fun, sane and dd free shaven and clean.

I am not into S&M but like it rather hard and would never turn down a good Analfuck (but that would be totally up to you).

So, if your interested, drop me a line, lets exchange pics and make this happen!

This is a response to an ad looking for a lover or a regular friends with benefits. First of all, it appears to be a regular copy and paste job with the run of the mill body stats.  The difference with his stats...instead of saying he is well endowed or he measures 28cm or some insane number, or hung....he states he has a "yum cock". Hmmm does he know what a yum cock is? Cause I don't. When you google "yum cock" this is what comes up.....http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/166350/yum/  But I am assuming he got lazy again  and did not want to fully spell out the word "yummy". For real, lazy is the first thing  think of here. Then I am also assuming he is trying to say he has a yummy cock. How does he know....does he suck it regularly? Does he regularly taste his cum, drink it even? I would think if he had a yummy cock too, he would be taken and not responding to complete strangers. Or if he was able to partake in enjoying a yummy cock, he would not be leaving home or taking time to peruse craigslist soliciting his oh so yummy cock. Next, "he would never turn down a good analfuck". Hmmmmm REALLY....no way. What kind of man is this? Did I ever have a doubt in my mind, was it ever left in question if this man or any other man would turn down anal sex?....Scenario.... I am bent over on all fours, with my ass and pussy spread and my partner stands there and says, "no darling, you have offered me the best pussy fuck ever, how could I violate your ass in this way? Really I couldn't."

Last but not least, he also addressed me as "Lady", but nowhere in his response am I spoken to as a lady. Does this behavior really work? I assume so or men would not behave this way....shame on women....shame, shame, shame! I know you need sex as much as men...I get it. But really, there is a mysteriousness about women that still alludes men...to this day. This is our power...do not sully it! Again gentlemen...we know you have a cock, we know you need sexual healing...blah blah blah  Try not to mention it and put the energy to seducing a woman proper...you may just surprise yourself.

But...if you still feel you must be the walking hard-on guy....let's see what you have. I will run a contest for the nicest cock. But this will not be for the faint of heart. I will critique your cock openly...so if you have not such thick vorhaut....maybe you should just step back!

I confess........... CL Ad W4M

I Confess…

Dear heavenly father I have sinned....it has been a lifetime since my last confession....perhaps only in a past life.

I have had sexual relations,
Sexual relations with many men.
I have been penetrated...
In every way possible.

Will I go to hell?

Even if I liked it and I am not sorry? Even if I want it more and more? Even if I enjoy getting paid for it?

No my dear...you will not go to hell. There is a special place in heaven reserved for those who tend to the needs of men and there is also a special place for those who enjoy it! Getting paid only makes you honest and shows men how to value more what they receive! Have no fear child your place, your happy heavenly place, is secured next to the holiest of the holy....after all you have tended to us and our needs longer than any other and we are grateful. We keep those we value close and safe!

Responses:

hahaha, I haven't had such a good laugh in a while ... many
thanks for this ... I need to save this somewhere ...

You seem like cool gal ... any chance to get to know you?

Bravo for these lines ^^

Having somebody who is smart on the opposite side makes this interesting. So what is the deal?

Actually paying is kind of a turn-on, but you are aware, that I am going to make you DO things... ;)

Just once, I would love to be proven wrong!

Last night I decided to meet someone...a guy, just for myself and outside of work. Occasionally, yes, I do this and it seems like every time I do, it is the same fucking guy but only with a different face. I can say indeed, I was open to meeting a strange guy, having a drink or 2 and then going back to his place for some NSA wild sex...and without charging. But truth be hold, every man I meet under these circumstances proves me right every time.

Some may not understand the realness behind being a whore. The actual connection, although brief as it may be, behind a paid for encounter. I have met some of the most beautiful men, beautiful souls, and been flattered beyond belief by them. My theory being that, people (but mostly men) place a value on things that they pay for. They see it as an investment and when the investment has a guarantee behind it, the men tend to put forth the effort to be themselves, attentive, seductive, and warm. They want to get the most out of what they pay for....they know they could just stick it somewhere quickly and for free...but in the end...what is there in that? While the contrary is inevitable with a man seeking free sex. He is arrogant and feels he is God's gift to women and that women are merely there to satiate him. Why is this?

When sex is paid for, you tend to get exactly what it is you desire and usually a bit more. The boundaries are clear, intentions are expressed, and the sensuality is left in its extreme form for the duration of the encounter. The participants part ways without any strange feelings of, will I see him again or in most cases, what the fuck did I do? The time spent together has clarity, emotion, and intensity that both partake in together with set function and rationality. But when the sex is free or the intent of sex is free, men tend to treat the female part more like a slut a piece of meat only there for him and his needs...... more than the gentleman paying for an actual whore.

After spending several hours having conversation with this egotistical typical male, we both realized that it would go no further. Although he was good looking enough and could hold a decent conversation, it was dead in the water for this evening. We had talked about many personal things and I no longer was this person he could take home and just take advantage of. It seemed to have the potential to develop into a friendship and maybe with benefits. He never tried to kiss me or touch me and that was a plus in my book. But in the end, when we said goodbye, I went to kiss him to let him know, that there was an amount of interest to possibly meet again and see where it would go. He pushed me away and said, I am not feeling it this evening, but would like to see me again in the future. I agreed! Then he went and fucked it up by saying...."maybe I could meet you in the park and you can give me one of your great blow jobs and I would even talk to you afterwards."

On so many levels...........REALLY!

On my walk home, I realized more about myself. I realized that men, as much as they love the idea of having a girlfriend who can be their personal whore, I will only ever have the respect of a girlfriend, when I am being paid for it. I also realized, that I have someone in my life that I care copious amounts for. I see my heart beginning to open more and more and with this I become ever more fearful. Last night when I went out on this date, I went on this date to try and rid myself of this feeling I have for someone and that maybe by doing it, I  only conjured up more pain and fear within myself.....assured disappointment.

To the man I spent last night.....thank you for not allowing me to lessen my worth!

Love waking up to good lesbian porn!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

My Journey to Self Liberation as a Whore

Making my way through this life, this journey, I am learning so much about myself. I have found strengths, weaknesses, confidences, places where I am completely content and also where I am uneasy, and for the most part...they are one in the same. These traits have all completely shifted from one extreme to another. Do I like what I have found about myself? There are moments when I am not quite sure...but isn't this true for anyone? Day to day though, I am completely content with who I have found in myself. I am usually happy, energetic, smiling, silly, and charismatic and always in the mood to feel the warm body of another next to mine. But the moments when I am not, they hit so intensely, any and all happiness I have found is lost in these moments of deterioration. I have woken up absolutely hating myself and who I am, for as close as I can be to something recognizable to being in love or feeling closeness to another human being for more than an hour, I hate myself for trying or desiring it. Mostly because I don't want to be let down in the end, should the person I value most outside myself, not care for me in a way closest to resembling a kind of unique bond and loving loyalty. What I don't like about myself is the cold and bitter reality, that as much as I want to find closeness and trust in another, I do not allow myself to feel it completely. I am full of love and desire, yet I no longer know how to express it with real connection to feeling. I hate myself for being numb to love and its possibilities, especially now because I have never been so highly desired by so many. This new desire for me is exhilarating and fills me with confidence in myself that I never really had before, but the sad part of it is, this desire men have for me is only superficial. They have no interest in the person that exists beyond the facade. But, I also know for me, I have not the capacity to embrace anything more than superficial.

I see myself clear as day. For the first time in my life I can stand still like in a wormhole and look upon my past, present, and future. I am beyond familiar with the roads I have traveled, I have found solitude for where I am at present, and I can see where I want to go. The only thing fuzzy for me is how? I have always been scattered and hard at focusing...I know I cannot live like this forever and sometime somewhere, something will have to give...but what will I relinquish? Personal sovereignty, principles, or my ideal for love? At the moment, I am completely content with where I am...physically, mentally, and emotionally. Prior to becoming a whore and living life on a whim of love and the way the wind blew, I was out of balance as I lost my sovereignty, tried to live with principles and with my ideal of love......it was a complete fail as I did not know the subtlety of loves manipulations. I slowly melded into one with another and forgot that I also exist as an individual and with boundaries.

Now I live with boundaries I have set...feeling the individual that pays me for my time. I feel them, taste them, bond with them for a moment in time, yet neither becomes drained by the inevitable disappointment that complete unity has to offer. I no longer suck a dick for the explicit sanctification of another and I no longer do it whimsically. I no longer freely give away what has worth to me and should have worth to others, and when that worth is put into question, I am strong enough in my self appreciation to allow anyone to cheapen me or what I have to offer , I will settle for nothing less than what I desire and nothing less than what I am worth . This self liberation would have never existed within me had I not become a whore. It would have never happened had I stayed in the US and it would not have happened had I not relinquished to some, lost to more, or had stolen from a few....my heart, my naivety....my soul!